We all have heard the saying

People come in and out of your life for a reason.

When I look back on my 40 years I realize so many people have touched my life.  People that have loved me and people that have hurt me so much that the result is this blog.

Pain is what lets us know we are alive.  Pain, especially from a loss, can make you feel like you are slowly churning through a paper shredder and there is no one there to save you.  When you lose love, you temporarily lose your self.    Probably because for such a long time your self was comprised of a perfectly blended mix of two souls.  When one leaves, you strive to fill that emptiness.  Your heart had been molded one way and its not going to want to return to a solitary self without a fight.  But when someone leaves you without a fight, I swear it is harder to recover.

You can ask yourself Why? How Come? Is it for Good?  But there are no answers.  You cannot control, answer or predict why someone chose to leave a perfectly amazing relationship to deal with their own issues.  And if you are the type of person I am, you still want to help that being.  You want to comfort them while they find inner peace.  And you are banging your head against the wall because you cannot see why your co-dependence did not bring him the sought after inner peace.

I write this blog as writing is a means of expression.  I have found that writing out my thoughts has already helped me heal.  It doesn’t let me forget the hurt and loneliness but its a treadmill for my mind.

Blogging will also open my eyes to the wonderful town which I am currently residing.  After the breakup I was distraught. I said to my friends “I’m a 40 yo nulliparous living in a soccer mom community”.  The first question anyone asks me is What school do your children go to?  I typically answer “Cohasett Kennels” and wait for a perplexed look.  I uprooted my entire life last year to move to the glorious seaside town of Hingham.

Now if you ask him, he’d say I was the one who made the decision to move here.  This, my readers, is just one of the shocking truths about men – they are selfish.  Even the nicest male has an overabundance of selfish genes mitosisizing and trying to get out!   Let’s just say, I loved him enough to give up my sense of self and social grounding  to move to suburbia without the necessary requirements.

You see, Hingham is great for families. Schools are ranked top 10 in the state, top caliber athletes, a yacht club, country club and dining club.  So what is there for a single 40 something in this town?  Well we are about to find out.

Welcome to Celibate By The Sea.  A weekly journey into the life of Julie.  I will offer your my deepest and most sincere thoughts.  My goal is to spread Hope to someone who has been in my shoes.  And I promise a few laughs.

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